Because I just celebrated my 70th birthday, it made me think about birth order. I am the oldest of two sisters, and I think the personality traits associated with the oldest, middle and youngest/only (she is 18 years younger, so is like an only child) are true in my family.
When I was working full-time, the company offered a class on birth order which I took. We were separated into our birth order groups and asked to write what we thought our personality traits were on flip charts. I don’t remember the traits we wrote down, but I do remember that the first-born’s flip chart was all in the same color ink, the writing was neat and even, in a straight line. The youngest group’s flip chart was in all different colors of ink. The writing was in flowing script that cascaded up and down. There was a flower drawn in one corner and a decorative motif in the other corner. The two groups could not have been more different.
Theory
According to Wikipedia, Alfred Adler (1870–1937), an Austrian psychiatrist, and a contemporary of Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung, was one of the first theorists to suggest that birth order influences personality. He argued that birth order can leave an indelible impression on an individual's style of life, which is one's habitual way of dealing with the tasks of friendship, love and work. According to Adler, firstborns are "dethroned" when a second child comes along, and this loss of perceived privilege and primacy may have a lasting influence on them. Middle children may feel ignored or overlooked, causing them to develop the so-called middle child syndrome. Younger and only children may be pampered and spoiled, which was suggested to affect their later personalities. All of this assumes what Adler believed to be a typical family situation, e.g., a nuclear family living apart from the extended family, without the children being orphaned, with average spacing between births, without twins and other multiples and with surviving children not having severe physical, intellectual or psychiatric disabilities.
Since Adler's time, the influence of birth order on the development of personality has become a controversial issue in psychology. Among the general public, it is widely believed that personality is strongly influenced by birth order, but many psychologists dispute this. One modern theory of personality states that the Big Five personality traits of openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness and neuroticism represent most of the important elements of personality that can be measured. Contemporary empirical research shows that birth order does not influence the Big Five personality traits.
In his 1996 book “Born to Rebel,” Frank Sulloway suggested that birth order had powerful effects on the Big Five personality traits. He argued that firstborns were much more conscientious and socially dominant, less agreeable and less open to new ideas compared to laterborns. A full issue of “Politics and the Life Sciences,” dated September, 2000 but not published until 2004 due to legal threats from Sulloway, contains carefully and rigorously researched criticisms of his theories and data.
According to Joycelyn Voo’s article "Birth Order Traits: Your Guide to Sibling Personality Differences" in Parents, below are birth order personality traits.
Firstborn personality traits
Simply by being a couple's first child, a firstborn will naturally be raised with a mixture of instinct and trial-and-error. This atmosphere often causes parents to become by-the-book caregivers who are extremely attentive, stringent with rules and overly neurotic about the minutiae. This environment, in turn, may cause the child to become a perfectionist, always striving to please his parents.
Firstborns bask in their parents' presence, which may explain why they sometimes act like mini-adults. They’re also diligent and want to excel at everything they do. As the leader of the pack, firstborns often tend to be:
Reliable.
Conscientious.
Structured.
Cautious.
Controlling.
Achievers.
Firstborn strengths
The firstborn is often used to being the center of attention; he has Mom and Dad to himself before siblings arrive. "Many parents spend more time reading and explaining things to firstborns. It's not as easy when other kids come into the picture," said Frank Farley, Ph.D., a psychologist at Temple University in Philadelphia, who has studied personality and human development for decades. "That undivided attention may have a lot to do with why firstborns tend to be overachievers," he explained. In addition to usually scoring higher on IQ tests and generally getting more education than their brothers and sisters, firstborns tend to outearn their siblings.
Firstborn challenges
Success comes with a price: Firstborns tend to be type A personalities who never cut themselves any slack. "They often have an intense fear of failure, so nothing they accomplish feels good enough," said Michelle P. Maidenberg, Ph.D., a child and family therapist in White Plains, New York. And because they dread making a misstep, oldest kids tend to stick to the straight and narrow: "They're typically inflexible — they don't like change and are hesitant to step out of their comfort zones," she explained.
In addition, because firstborns are often given a lot of responsibility at home — whether it's helping with chores or watching over younger siblings — they can be quick to take charge (and can be bossy when they do). That burden can lead to excess stress for a child who already feels pressure to be perfect.
Famous firstborns
According to “The Birth Order Effect” at bestpsychologydegrees.com, below are some famous firstborns, middle children, youngest and only children.
Walter Cronkite, key birth order trait - reliable
Once the “most trusted man in America,” Cronkite famously reported on the assassination of President John F. Kennedy and the 1969 moon landing.
Oprah Winfrey, key birth order trait – conscientious
Winfrey went from local Chicago TV reporter to one of the most influential and wealthy women in the world.
Winston Churchill, key birth order trait – controlling
Churchill’s steadfast refusal to consider defeat helped inspire the English during World War II; he’s regarded as one of the greatest wartime leaders in history.
Middle child personality traits
If the couple decides to have a second child, they might raise their second-born with less of an iron first due to their previous experience. They might also be less attentive since there's other children in their lives. Therefore, the middle child is often a people-pleaser due to the lack of attention he gets in comparison to his older sibling and younger sibling.
"The middle child often feels left out and a sense of, 'Well, I'm not the oldest. I'm not the youngest. Who am I?'" said therapist Meri Wallace. This sort of hierarchical floundering leads middle children to make their mark among their peers, since parental attention is usually devoted to the beloved firstborn or baby of the family. What’s more, "middle children are the toughest to pin down because they play off their older sibling," said Dr. Kevin Leman, a psychologist who has studied birth order since 1967 and author of “The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are.”
In general, middle children tend to possess the following birth order personality traits:
People-pleasers.
Somewhat rebellious.
Thrives on friendships.
Has large social circle.
Peacemaker.
Middle child strengths
Middleborns are go-with-the-flow types; once a younger sibling arrives, they must learn how to constantly negotiate and compromise in order to "fit in" with everyone. Not surprisingly, Dr. Sulloway notes, middle kids score higher in agreeableness than both their older and younger sibs.
Because they receive less attention at home, middletons tend to forge stronger bonds with friends and be less tethered to their family than their brothers and sisters. "They're usually the first of their siblings to take a trip with another family or to want to sleep at a friend's house," said Linda Dunlap, Ph.D., professor of psychology at Marist College in Poughkeepsie, New York.
Middle child challenges
Middle kids once lived as the baby of the family, until they were dethroned by a new sibling. Unfortunately, they're often acutely aware that they don't get as much parental attention as their "trailblazing" older sibling or the beloved youngest, and they feel like their needs and wants are ignored. "Middle kids are in a difficult position in a family because they think they're not valued," said Dr. Maidenberg, "It's easy for them to be left out and get lost in the shuffle." And there is some validity to their complaint: A survey by TheBabyWebsite.com, a British parenting resource, found that a third of parents with three children admit to giving their middle child far less attention than they give the other two.
Famous middle children
Barbara Walters, key personality trait – social
A TV journalist known for her celebrity interviews, Walters was the first woman to co-host a nightly evening news program.
John F. Kennedy Jr., key personality trait – peacemaker
A president whose life was cut short by an assassination, one of Kennedy’s biggest achievements was avoiding a nuclear incident during the Cuban Missile Crisis of 1962.
Martin Luther King Jr., key birth order trait – rebellious
Leader of the civil rights movement of the 1960s, King’s message of non-violence in the face of attempts at repression helped galvanize popular thinking in favor of his movement.
Youngest child personality traits
Youngest children tend to be the most free-spirited due to their parents' increasingly laissez-faire attitude towards parenting the second (or third, or fourth, or fifth...) time around. The baby of the family tends to have the following birth order traits:
Fun-loving.
Uncomplicated.
Manipulative.
Outgoing.
Attention-seeker.
Self-centered.
Youngest child strengths
Lastborns generally aren't the strongest or the smartest in the room, so they develop their own ways of winning attention. They're natural charmers with an outgoing, social personality; no surprise then that many famous actors and comedians are the baby of the family, or that they score higher in "agreeableness" on personality tests than firstborns, according to Dr. Sulloway's research.
Youngests also make a play for the spotlight with their adventurousness. Free-spirited lastborns are more open to unconventional experiences and taking physical risks than their siblings. Research has shown that they're more likely to play sports like football and soccer than their older siblings, who preferred activities like track and tennis.
Youngest child challenges
Youngests are known for feeling that "nothing I do is important," Dr. Leman notes. "None of their accomplishments seem original. Their siblings have already learned to talk, read and ride a bike. So parents react with less spontaneous joy at their accomplishments and may even wonder, 'Why can't he catch on faster?'"
Lastborns also learn to use their role as the baby to manipulate others to get their way. "They're the least likely to be disciplined," Dr. Leman noted. Parents often coddle the littlest when it comes to chores and rules, failing to hold them to the same standards as their siblings.
Famous youngest children
Mark Twain, key birth order trait – outgoing
The beloved American author and humorist has been called the father of American literature.
Stephen Colbert, key birth order trait – attention-seeking
The youngest of 11 siblings, Colbert shrewdly portrayed an oblivious, arch-conservative newsman in “The Colbert Report” from 2005-2014 and started hosting “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” in 2015.
Prince Harry, key birth order trait – fun-loving
The younger of the two English princes has provided tabloid fodder over the years with his somewhat reckless behavior.
Only children personality traits
Being an only child is a unique position. Without any siblings to compete with, the only child monopolizes his parents' attention and resources — not just for a short period of time like a firstborn, but forever. In effect, this makes an only child something like a "super-firstborn": only children have the privilege — and the burden — of having all their parents' support and expectations on their shoulders. Thus, only children tend to be:
Mature for their age.
Perfectionists.
Conscientious.
Diligent.
Leaders.
Famous only children
Elvis Presley, key birth order trait – perfectionist
The best-selling solo artist in the history of music, Presley remains one of the most important figures in American culture.
Frank Sinatra, key birth order trait – mature
A singer and actor expelled from school as a teenager, Sinatra defined an entire genre of popular music and represented a particular swanky lifestyle.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt, key birth order trait – diligent
America’s longest-serving president, Roosevelt grew up with a mother who lavished attention on him.
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